House of 'Camelote'

Yes, you heard me correctly.....this is a house of 'camelote'.  Not, Camelot....'camelote!  Of course, nobody heard me, however, an exclamation may be in order. 

Everyone knows Camelot is a castle, but a word in french, 'camelote', roughly translated is "rubbish" or "crap".  So, what we have is a house of crap.  Sigh!  OK, I will continue explaining.

Remember when you used to go to your grandmothers house and outside of the fact it was brimming with love (my grandmothers was anyway,) it also overflowed with.......well, everything?  You just knew she had never tossed anything away in her whole life.  But, she insisted she needed  every item she had and somehow she managed to keep each thing dusted.  I HAVE become my grandmother.  I have the clutter and to my clutter we have to add my roommate/pal/playmate/husbands clutter.  There!  I have admitted it.  My name is Kay and I am a clutterer!  My guy has not made that admission yet.  His clutter is all necessary .....according to him.

He's never been one to toss anything away.  He had a pair of peg-legged black slacks from his high school days until he was well into his early 50's.  His excuse?  He probably would wear them again someday.  Oh?  And his 34 inch waist would magically return to the 27" waist of his youth?    (Yeah, and if that could happen I'd still have that little sassy black velvet number from my mid-20's.)  I, however, have been a tosser of the first order until I became my grandmother a short while back.    Really, in this stack of magazines I'm going to one day find AND use the recipe I remember seeing, but not which pile it was in?  I would use the recipe if I did find it, which I won't?  But the magazines are here...... just in case.   The magazines are only a small example.  I don't have the strength in my fingers to type about all the particulars.  

The largest "camelote' spot in our home is our nesting place.  We have our recliners from which we spend most our time these days, each on our laptops, browsing away with doses of watching TV tossed in now and then.  In between our recliners is a large stand with most everything we need to make it not only through the day, but probably a hostile take-over.  The phone is at the ready.....both of them....cordless and cell, headphones....one each in case we want to tune the other one out .  I believe there may also be a spare one there in case we have company.  A couple of handheld games in case we get tired of playing on our laptops and need other means of entertainment.   We have our water bottles, our coffee cups, and a pencil sharpener.  Pencil sharpener?  Where did it come from?  

Oh, there are also magazines with crossword puzzles in them that I must save in case I get tire of the laptop, the electronic games and the TV.   A bowl of jelly beans in case we're overtaken with a sweet attack, some things with cords on them that has to be his because my toys are all cordless.  There are some things laying behind his chair, but I don't know what they  are because (A)  I don't clean behind HIS chair, (B)  They seem  to all have cords, which could be meant to hold the house together and (C)  I have too much stuff on my lap to get up and look.  They don't look dusty, so they must get some use.

We've been married so long we really don't have to have long conversations anymore.  Since we know ahead of time what the other is going to ask or respond to,  we mostly communicate with the occasional grunt,  nod, head - shake or nasty hand gesture.  Our dog died a few years back so we no longer argue over who is taking her outside.  Plus, no pet to add it's own clutter.....so, that's probably a good thing.

A BB rifle sets near the door, only used when marauding wild turkey's come a'calling.  They can eat the flowers and leaves off  in all  our gardens faster than a swarm of locust.  Seriously!  We have huge, HUGE herds of turkey's in our area.  They may be a flock in your part of the country, but when they come visiting us, they invite their friends and relatives for a hoe-down in our yard, which makes them a herd.  Understand the difference?  That reminds me, we have a friend that wrote an ode about our turkey invasions that I must remember to put on here.  It's great!

Okay, where was I?  Did this story have a point?  I'm sure it didn't, since none of my stories have a start, finish or 'tween.  I tend to just blather and see where it takes me.  The upside is it scares the heck out of our adult daughters who probably have loud arguments about how soon we're not going to be allowed on our own and which one has to take us in.  What fun!